7 advantages of being single!

Single? Don't be sad. Be happy with your life and enjoy whatever is present in it. But wait, if you ever want to shed that “single” status of yours, read these 7 benefits of being single.

Not having to change your personality: OK! If you are single, it means you can live your life possessing that personality of yours without having to change it, however weird it is. Believe me, one of my friends has a personality similar to that of the irritating nature of Navjot Singh Siddhu, but whenever he is with his girlfriend, he behaves like Manmohan Singh. It saddens me looking at the poor soul!

Not having to worry about buying expensive gifts: I have never had the experience of having a girlfriend, but let me assure you one thing: buying gifts for a girlfriend is the most horrible experience one can ever have. I have had experiences of accompanying a few of my friends in buying expensive gifts for their girlfriends and felt the pain in their eyes. And the pain reaches new heights on 14^th February, every year. No prize for guessing why!

Not having to worry about what you wear: The other day, I met one of my friends and believe me, he was dressed like Kim Kardashian. On normal days, he would wear only his torn boxers and that ugly vest from the Stone-Age. And when I enquired the reason behind his sudden profound dressing style, he proudly exclaimed that he was meeting his special someone. I certainly pitied his dressing sense. I could clearly see in his eyes that he was missing the freedom of those torn pieces of cotton, he usually calls 'clothes'. Sigh! 

Not waste a million bucks on phone recharges: I don’t have to ever worry about the balance in my cell-phone (on any normal day, it is an absolute zero!) and obviously, those prolonged never-ending phone calls that connects the two lovers. For non-Jio customers, the phone bill exceeds even Mukesh Ambani's daily budget on IPL expenses. 

Not having to worry about your activities in the online society: Being single, I have a well-deserved freedom in social media. The other day, one of my friends went dead sick as he posted something in his timeline which wasn’t approved of by his empress (read girlfriend) and he had to apologize to her for some billion times for the next 5-6 days. And after due considerations (read expensive gifts and a dinner party, for compensation) his life was saved. If Hitler was a girl, even he would have treated his boyfriend better. 

Not having the pain of giving 24/7 GPS updates: I don’t generally keep track about my whereabouts or my activities throughout the day lest my mom gives me a surprise call, but sadly I have seen one of my friends keep track of his throughout the entire day, for the sake of his girlfriend. Whenever he’s on a call with his Cinderella, he has to give her constant updates about where he is or what he is doing, be it taking a piss or shit. I wonder how he would update her when he's about to fart! Maybe the odour would be proof enough for her to believe him. 

Not having the jitters to have a glance at some other girl: To be honest, being a boy I obviously get attracted to alluring girls, and it is quite normal to possess that universal trait. On many such privileged occasions, when an elegant girl accidentally passes by a boy, it is impossible for the male breed not to have a glance at her exquisite face. And even though girls do not pay heed to many of these innovative humans' presence, a look at her certainly gives a soothing feeling in the heart of many. But then, one of my friends almost acted like he had actually bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki once again when he had accidentally glimpsed at a girl for some 2 micro-seconds in the presence of his long-time girlfriend. And it would be quite mournful to put down to words as to what had exactly happened to him after that. Amen to the poor soul!