Earthquake: A Political Satire!

The nation was in turmoil. Times were never horrible than these. People are seen agitating everywhere. Intellectuals are questioning every thing in this country including the colour of your toilet seat or the reason for which you stand up when the national anthem is being played. These highly qualified people are angry about a certain ‘chaiwala’ because long time back, he had decided to upgrade his profession. And why not? When being literate and having the ability to speak English had always been the flavor of the season, intellectuals all around are seemingly intolerant about a ‘Supreme Leader’ who would even speak in Hindi at the UN.

Demonetization is just another puzzle in the entire game. Intellectuals are furious because somebody took an enormous step and came up with a particularly unorthodox decision regarding the curious case of black money. Why should someone tap the sensitive issue of black money? Why on earth? Black Money is something everybody knows about but nobody takes any actions! Obviously, the fear of losing money is the fatal situation no one wants to fall at!

“Supreme Leader hasn’t allowed me to speak! He is afraid. He is a coward. Expect an earthquake when I speak about the dirty secrets of the Leader! This is the biggest scam in the history of our country.” boasted the old and audacious youth icon of Independent India, not realizing that he had just dismissed years of studies about tectonic plates.

The Supreme Leader had banned the youth icon from speaking at major events. He was posing a constant threat to the popularity of the Supreme Leader. Youth Icon was the most pioneering figure in the Indian political scenario. Every single person, be it the young guns and be it those old-horses, everyone rallied behind him. CHOTU (short for Youth Icon) was struggling to find a podium just like he is finding it tough to find a career, to reveal the papers of the biggest scam, which apparently Independent India has ever seen.

Scene 1:

“After all the great works I have done, why am I not allowed to speak? When I speak, the balloon will burst!”

The Supreme Leader came running towards CHOTU in order to stop him from speaking again! He is not allowed to speak. Such a pity! CHOTU is taken inside the car, protected by his supreme commandos. The entire nation is baffled at this threat to CHOTU’s life. Even his importantly informative twitter account was hacked to death, for no reason at all. CHOTU was a soft target, they asserted. Quite soft!

Days followed by weeks! There is no chance CHOTU would be allowed to speak, for he has very very important papers that could ruin the ruling party’s future in the country. The ruling party cannot let that happen. A couple of years ago, when CHOTU had featured in a one-on-one talk show, he crippled the Supreme Leader, with his two beautifully crafted words: ‘Women and Empowerment’ & technically in that order. Thereafter, people had been longing for CHOTU to come on TV once again, with his seriously witty comments, and whose videos don’t take even a second to break the views count in Youtube!

“I am not allowed to speak! If I am allowed to speak, Supreme Leader will run away from the country and seek refuge at the Obama’s. Earthquake will definitely come once I speak my heart out!”

The Supreme Leader is again seen running towards CHOTU with his stick, attempting to stop him from speaking once again. This time, he’s adamant to hit him on the back of his head.

“He’s not my ‘mitra’, mitrooooooooooo!”

CHOTU is again taken in by his supreme commandos! No violence.

Even, CHOTU’s brother-in-law has attacked the Leader. He is absolutely devastated at the state of affairs in his own farmhouse, the state of Haryana! He is the supreme sympathizer and the face of the poor people, which is the reason he sports the traditional moustache, which is the most he could do.

“The ENTIRE NATION is suffering due to the virtual imaginations of the Supreme Leader! When will he realize?”

Symbolically, CHOTU, his bro-in-law and his entire gang seems to technically know the feelings of the ‘entire nation’, each and every single one of them. Modern technology seems to be within a hand’s reach for them. Yet they represent the poor people.

Ironically, India became independent in 1947. There has been absolutely no signs to the stoppage of poverty over these years. In these nearly 70 years of freedom, Congress has been in power for over 52 years in combined, yet the biggest villain today is the ‘Supreme Leader’. Hail the intellectuals!

pic courtesy: santabanta.com 

Finally the day has arrived: The final day of the winter session of Parliament. Every news channel camera is pinned to CHOTU, he comes out of his car. His dignified steps seem to have thrown the chills down the Supreme Leader and his party-men. They look literally boiled and it resembled like the hot-summer session rather than the winter. Sweats bellow down the face of the ministers. CHOTU evidently has papers in his hands. His claims weren’t false. His smirk is a metaphor to all the tall claims by him over these years. Yet the struggles of Indians hasn’t ceased.

News reporter 1: “Sir, are these the papers that you promised?”

Reporter 2: “Sir, what kind of revelation are you going to make?”

Reporter 3: “Will I get back my old money?” (ignore)

With a liberal smile, that brought back memories of the freedom fighters during the British Rule in India, CHOTU boasted, “All your questions will be answered today! Just listen to my speech.” And off he went into the Parliament House.

The speaker of the house took his seat.

There were intense looks on the faces of the members. All the seats were occupied. 100% attendance was achieved for the first time, thanks to CHOTU. He is such a gentleman. The speaker put on his headphones, which brought a big smile on CHOTU’s face.

“When will I be allowed to speak?”

There was a stunned silence. Everyone sported a serious look. Outside the house, reporters were awaiting the big news of the day! CHOTU, the hero would speak today finally, after all the suspense. The ‘entire nation’ was glued to their television sets, each wearing a safety helmet.

The moment finally arrived. CHOTU opened his mouth and bam!

The entire Parliament House shook! Boy, it shook real hard! Reporters ran for cover. Members of the Parliament were running errands! Security Guards ran inside to rescue the VIPs. There were screams. There was chaos! And then, there was an aftershock!

The entire nation shook! There were absolutely no calamities, thanks to CHOTU, as he had already warned the people before. All the people were safe.

The seismograph read a relatively high number. It was a historic moment in the history of India!

Ironically, the epicenter of the entire earthquake was:

ITALY!