The Gangs of Swami-Pur: The Indian Godmen
Have you ever wondered how India is such a developed country?
Have you ever wondered how poverty has been eradicated from our country?
Have you ever wondered how has the mass problem of unemployment been solved?
Or why Indians are the happiest bunch of humans on the planet? Have you ever wondered?
That's the only problem. You never care to wonder. But thanks to the infinite number of Godmen in our country, every problem has been eradicated from their roots.
We should all be grateful to these technically advanced, medically proven and logically immune Swamis and Babas.
Psychiatrists, medical practitioners, counselors or doctors are amateur beings. Instead, a bunch of multi-talented super-humans are specifically designated for handling the most extreme of situations in India. They might have a hairy human anatomy but looks are deceptive. All your problems including your money will be washed away. Guaranteed!
Have you ever wondered how poverty has been eradicated from our country?
Have you ever wondered how has the mass problem of unemployment been solved?
Or why Indians are the happiest bunch of humans on the planet? Have you ever wondered?
That's the only problem. You never care to wonder. But thanks to the infinite number of Godmen in our country, every problem has been eradicated from their roots.
We should all be grateful to these technically advanced, medically proven and logically immune Swamis and Babas.
Psychiatrists, medical practitioners, counselors or doctors are amateur beings. Instead, a bunch of multi-talented super-humans are specifically designated for handling the most extreme of situations in India. They might have a hairy human anatomy but looks are deceptive. All your problems including your money will be washed away. Guaranteed!
Yes, just like that. In case you google this gentleman's name, it ends with 'Insaan'. Just in case, you might mistake him to be not. (He is even available in Gaana, Saavn, Youtube and Hungama, believe it or not)
By the grace of God, I once encountered the channel which telecasts the ever interesting three-eyed baba. I don't know if the 'third eye' is meant to be a whimsical metaphor but for stress relief purposes, I sometimes stumble onto such programs. Stand up comedy is too mainstream and are for kids. No sarcasm intended. In the program, one teary-eyed woman asked Mr. Baba for a solution for her teenage daughter's constant anger issues and brawls with her. Baba casually told her to place a solo picture frame of our Lord Shiva in her home and all her problems would be eradicated right-away, to which she cried and gave our Baba a trillion thanks for solving her problem. See, this is what out-of-the-box thinking is. This, right here is the purest form of science. Basic Education what?
I was inadvertently glued to the TV for the next few minutes. I mean, nobody can afford to miss that shit! The next bereaved person who got the prized chance to speak to Baba dear, was very much sad as his job position and salary wasn't growing and hence, was very much distraught and sad. Remember, Baba equals God. He calmly asked the man if he owns a Samsung phone to which the man replied he doesn't. Baba gave a 'Thug Life' smile and asked him to buy one! Simple. See, that's the ultra cool and modern way to tackle problems. We unnecessarily overthink our dilemmas to elevate them. Such swag! Such charisma! You can only imagine the hero's applause the crowd gifted our Baba Sir. Thankfully I escaped the channel.
By the grace of God, I once encountered the channel which telecasts the ever interesting three-eyed baba. I don't know if the 'third eye' is meant to be a whimsical metaphor but for stress relief purposes, I sometimes stumble onto such programs. Stand up comedy is too mainstream and are for kids. No sarcasm intended. In the program, one teary-eyed woman asked Mr. Baba for a solution for her teenage daughter's constant anger issues and brawls with her. Baba casually told her to place a solo picture frame of our Lord Shiva in her home and all her problems would be eradicated right-away, to which she cried and gave our Baba a trillion thanks for solving her problem. See, this is what out-of-the-box thinking is. This, right here is the purest form of science. Basic Education what?
I was inadvertently glued to the TV for the next few minutes. I mean, nobody can afford to miss that shit! The next bereaved person who got the prized chance to speak to Baba dear, was very much sad as his job position and salary wasn't growing and hence, was very much distraught and sad. Remember, Baba equals God. He calmly asked the man if he owns a Samsung phone to which the man replied he doesn't. Baba gave a 'Thug Life' smile and asked him to buy one! Simple. See, that's the ultra cool and modern way to tackle problems. We unnecessarily overthink our dilemmas to elevate them. Such swag! Such charisma! You can only imagine the hero's applause the crowd gifted our Baba Sir. Thankfully I escaped the channel.
This is Indian culture, if you didn't know earlier. These holy cows also has the ability to foresee the past, present and predict the future too. This is the reason why there are no longer any destruction via natural calamities. Earthquake, Tsunami, Typhoon, rest in peace, buddies!
In our country. suppose a couple fails to conceive a baby after many years of marriage, where do you think they go for explication? Obviously a Baba. Screw all the biology lessons.
If a child isn't sincere and doesn't study, what do you think is the solution? An 'infinity' gem from a Baba to increase his mental focus. Probably the mind stone.
If a boy or girl's marriage is failing to get through, where do you think such a family finds the answers? At a Baba's place. Keeping a 'fast' on a certain Tuesday might work out. This is sanity.
What if your child's health is deteriorating? A swami's paradoxical mantras will do just the trick. Cow piss might also be a solution. So hold on tight! The world of advanced medicine is just a hoax! Hail Gaumutra.
I once asked one such Baba as to how every problem is solved by wearing a gem on our fingers. Life is all about the planetary alignments and other extra terrestrial bodies, he told me. I asked him is Pluto still a planet in their extraordinary world. He acted as if I had asked his daughter's hand for marriage. He then silenced me by explaining me about the refraction and reflection that happens through these gems and which adversely affects us. Mirror and lens formula, damn! This is real. Thanos is real. The 'Marvel Comics' Thanos wanted to erase half of humanity using the Infinity Gems and these Godmen from India want to erase the entire grey cells capable of logical thinking from the brains of humanity! Avengers, Assemble?
If you still think medical science is capable of healing you, then watch this and thank me later. All hail the educated Indian society.
Years of technological research all gone down the drain. We have been studying trash for years. Massachusetts Institute of Technology what? All hail 'The Blind Faith Society of India'.
Jai Hind.
Dhongi babas, they all should be tied to a bicycle and dragged on the road around the city.
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