Being Bald: The story of my Hair
Hair is a very funny phenomenon.
The Before Phase:
People would show pity to me and grief about how my hair was thinning out. I tried to turn a blind eye to this hideous calamity. But people wouldn't just let me. I was constantly reminded by these generous people about this catastrophe of mine. Brownie points to them for that. I had always wondered how do other boys maintain such good hair. As a boy, my hair sucks. It literally sucks. I have the thinnest strands of hair possible. The situation got so worse during my brief stay away from home that I began to look like this. Honestly.
Being Bald:
It is a myth that the quality of your hair immensely develops after you shave it off. But then I had nothing to lose. I then decided to shave off my hair clean. There are so many good looking bald humans. Or so I thought. Like seriously. No, no not "Mandir Wahi Banaayenge" but more like "Baal Wahi Ugaaenge".
No hard feelings. But instead, I resembled like this.
The saffron was coincidental. This isn't any ploy.
And those 'Being Bald' days were some of the most entertaining and hilarious few days of my life. Never in my life had I garnered so much attention. Girls, women, children, unfortunately a few men too along with every other living being possible had their eyeballs constantly pointed towards me. People kept asking me various questions ranging from 'Why did you shave off your hair?','What happened to your hair?' to 'Did you shave off your hair?' Even illegal Bangladeshis aren't subjected to such intense Q&A sessions by the Border Security Forces. People would stare at me as if I was Dominic Torreto. I had to fuel my inner feelings to say: 'We Are not Family'
Apparently in India, you need specific reasons to shave off your hair. Such jurisdiction! But then I remember Mandir Wahi Banaaenge!
The 'After' Phase:
The after phase is quite irritating equally. The same people who had been asking me about why 'I had shaved off my hair', were now expressing their shock and disbelief because according to the basic rule of human anatomy, my hair grew back. Such astonishment was beyond my neighbors' ability to absorb. "What! Your hair grew back" and "Wow, your hair has grown back! How?" were now the new queries my ears had to digest. Human beings tend to have 'mood swings'. My neighbors have 'question swings'. Period.
p.s: Try 'Being Bald' at one point in your life. It is better than 'Being Human'. No pun.
Jai Hind. Not Jai Ho. No pun either.
People hate bodily hair. They shave it off. Like literally from all parts of their body. Laser treatment, hair removal cream, waxing and what not. The 'Those-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named' parts aren't spared from this ordeal either. For all the good reasons. Don't ask.
But people love the hair on their head. Men too. Their own head, not others'. Who doesn't?
Girls adore boys who sport stylishly suave hairstyle. Girls hate bald guys. Or so I presume. The only bald guy probably worth zero hair on his head is this guy below. And boy, he is a Superstar. Everyone loves him. #MeToo
The bald days of my life had three phases. Let me describe them for you.
The Before Phase:
People would show pity to me and grief about how my hair was thinning out. I tried to turn a blind eye to this hideous calamity. But people wouldn't just let me. I was constantly reminded by these generous people about this catastrophe of mine. Brownie points to them for that. I had always wondered how do other boys maintain such good hair. As a boy, my hair sucks. It literally sucks. I have the thinnest strands of hair possible. The situation got so worse during my brief stay away from home that I began to look like this. Honestly.
Being Bald:
It is a myth that the quality of your hair immensely develops after you shave it off. But then I had nothing to lose. I then decided to shave off my hair clean. There are so many good looking bald humans. Or so I thought. Like seriously. No, no not "Mandir Wahi Banaayenge" but more like "Baal Wahi Ugaaenge".
No hard feelings. But instead, I resembled like this.
The saffron was coincidental. This isn't any ploy.
And those 'Being Bald' days were some of the most entertaining and hilarious few days of my life. Never in my life had I garnered so much attention. Girls, women, children, unfortunately a few men too along with every other living being possible had their eyeballs constantly pointed towards me. People kept asking me various questions ranging from 'Why did you shave off your hair?','What happened to your hair?' to 'Did you shave off your hair?' Even illegal Bangladeshis aren't subjected to such intense Q&A sessions by the Border Security Forces. People would stare at me as if I was Dominic Torreto. I had to fuel my inner feelings to say: 'We Are not Family'
Apparently in India, you need specific reasons to shave off your hair. Such jurisdiction! But then I remember Mandir Wahi Banaaenge!
The 'After' Phase:
The after phase is quite irritating equally. The same people who had been asking me about why 'I had shaved off my hair', were now expressing their shock and disbelief because according to the basic rule of human anatomy, my hair grew back. Such astonishment was beyond my neighbors' ability to absorb. "What! Your hair grew back" and "Wow, your hair has grown back! How?" were now the new queries my ears had to digest. Human beings tend to have 'mood swings'. My neighbors have 'question swings'. Period.
p.s: Try 'Being Bald' at one point in your life. It is better than 'Being Human'. No pun.
Jai Hind. Not Jai Ho. No pun either.
Nijr jegaa clean kori Victo k trimmer Dia manuhh salaaa 😜😜😜
ReplyDeleteHahahaha !!bhaii 3 phase main akhir Mandir bana Kiya nahi🤣 ?? !! #Beingbald#beingbold
ReplyDeleteYou missed out some more superstars like StoneColdSteveAustin, Goldberg, JasonSthatham. I personally tried it a few times. I think being bald is rather hot n manly. I am even planning to go bald after my 40's.
ReplyDelete