Are You an Anti-National?

Ever since the Azaadi brigade has terrorized the capital city of our country, one question was continuously being played in my mind: Who are these Azaadi mongrels? What type of Azaadi do they want? Why are they after this Azaadi so desperately? Are they in their correct minds? Or are they taking role-play of freedom fighters in their theatres too seriously? Or simply put, are they clowns?

Remember the one mischievous sibling in your family? Remember how they would taunt you. And after losing your cool and taking out the necessary action on them, you beat him up for that. They then start to cry and frown about. Now all the blame would fall upon you and you get the world of scolding from your mom.

Doesn’t it sound familiar? Aren’t these honest anti-nationals who don’t need certificates of patriotism behaving in a similar manner? Seems they are similar parasites on a larger scale and yes, with more violence within them. I am not comparing them. I am leaving the right to judgement at your discretion. So spare me!

But let me justify their actions on an even larger scale. They are our real heroes. In fact, they are the freedom fighters that every country deserves. If only they were born some 150 years ago, the British wouldn’t have even dreamt of invading India. Koh-i-noor would have still been in one of the museums in a lush city of our country. Cricket would’ve been an alien sport in India. English wouldn’t have been such a passionate language among the pseudo-elites of our country. And most importantly, we would have been spared from watching the horrible movie ‘Mangal Pandey’. Do you even remember that great motion picture? No pun intended.

Anti-Nationalism? Come on! They might support Pakistan whole-heartedly during an India-Pakistan match but who are we to label charges of anti-loyalty towards them? Their mission is simple. Educational institutes are meant for protests and slogans against anything which the Government preaches. They hate our country but love our country. Wait, what? They support people who have bombarded prestigious places like the Parliament. Afzal Guru was actually a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize! Who are we to wrongly certify him? They also show sympathy towards people being hanged for terrorist activities. What is wrong in that? Dawood would love these loyalists besides him. ISIS requires these angel companions near them too! In fact, Bin Laden would’ve loved a little act of companionship from these peace mongrels at his greatest times of despair. 2011 was such an important year in the history of his life. Sigh!

Let me say this straight. Studies are merely an excuse of disparity. We actually need Azaadi. We all need it. Education is just a side business in great Universities and colleges. But in our National Capital, students have been enlightened enough to finally come out of the dark closet and are actively trying to lead us to a path of glory. If only, other great places of knowledge would’ve realized this and allow us to organize anti-National rallies. What is wrong if these students want to see Kashmir break away from our country? What is wrong if I want to break India into pieces? What is wrong if they support Afzal Guru? What is wrong if they love Rahul Gandhi to the core? What is wrong if he is immature? What is wrong if he states that Gujarat is larger than the entire planet? What is wrong in any of these? Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Expression, Freedom of whatever! Freedom is the key word. In fact, next time someone rejects your marriage proposal, just organize a protest against him or her in front of their home. Rioting is the answer to every mystery on this planet! Large Hadron Collider is just a fluke! No doesn’t mean no? No means yes! In fact, the word no shouldn’t even exist.

Why should you preach Nationalism? It is merely a façade which translates to being illiterate. If you want to be recognized, get some media attention or want to be considered among the greatest of intellectuals in our country, just say that you are an anti-National. Just claim that you hate India. Return all your awards, if any. Don’t stand up during the National Anthem and yeah, get a tattoo of ‘I Hate Modi’ on your forehead!

Welcome to the Azaadi squad, my friend!