8 Common Things in Guwahati Roads!

The Guwahati roads have always been a ruckus of a place from a very long time. Whether you are driving or not, your soul will be sucked out in no time. Let me put down some obvious trends about the roads in our esteemed city!   

1. Rule No. 1:

The first rule is that the roads would never be clear, provided you are late for some place. Even the shortcut routes within various places will be jammed with cars and two-wheelers. It is like every 'mortal being' decides to undergo some amusement activities on the roads in such a situation. And to top it all, they would drive like tortoise-powered vehicles and would never give you the way! And the continuous honking all around resembles a retarded honking-music concert!

2. The Curious Case of Helmets:

Helmets have always posed a serious threat to the freedom and style-quotient of most bikers. Helmets act as a barrier to the fresh and pure air that might have otherwise entered their precious lungs. Other than that, I haven’t found any logical reason for most bikers not wearing helmets. Another coherent reason is that pretty girls wouldn’t see their masculine faces if they did sport a helmet. But the supersonic speeds at which they ride their bikes, girls would anyways not even get a glimpse about the shadow of their bikes, let alone their cursed faces!

3. The Combo Pack in Traffic Signals:

In almost all traffic signal points, unsurprisingly you would find a combo of both electrically operated traffic lights and the white-clad traffic policemen, who would be waiting maliciously for someone to break the signal! It is also a vastly common sight to see two-wheelers wheeze past the traffic signal, in the initial micro-seconds of the red light. And these traffic policemen with their bare hands stand helplessly trying to figure out whether to try to catch the culprit or note down the vehicle number. Quite hilariously, both plans fail to take off from their heads! Sigh!

4. Game of Horns:

And in traffic signals, where there are no electrically-operated traffic lights and where the traffic policemen is the boss, with their rambunctiously sounding whistles and their hands,  vehicle drivers act as if each of them are the acting CEOs of Tesla Motors. They unceasingly honk, as if venting their frustration in the car horns, and giving the indication that the volume of their car-horns is inversely proportional to the eternal peace in their lives.

5. The Local Grand Prix:

The other day, as I stood in the traffic point on my two-wheeler, I got the notion as if I was in a race about to kick-start any time now. I felt I was wearing a VR set featuring a Moto GP race! As soon as the signal was about to turn green, two-wheelers scampered past me with the speed of light, followed by the vehicles which have twice as more wheels as them. I felt as if I would be swept away by the gust of hurricane which trailed them. Michael Schumacher would have surrendered his 7 World Champion titles witnessing such performances. Alas, India recognizes only engineers, doctors and cricketers!

6. The Perfectionists:

When multiple cars and two-wheelers would dash past you without a single honk to indicate their auspicious arrival, you feel as if honks are already part of an emotional history. And as they pass by you, they would maintain an inch perfect gap with the sides of your vehicle which is a grave talent in itself. (Remember Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle?) Such talents rarely find its way beyond the general public of our city.

7. Yes Parking:

Yes, those useless signs carrying 'No Parking' written all over it and informing about a violation fine should be hurled away somewhere. Cars, bikes and scooters scatter all around such boards as if Guwahatians love using sarcasm in a broader sense. Or maybe, people are protesting that everything should be written in Assamese. You never know, right? Fingers crossed! Joke intended!

8. That's All, Brakes!

On one or two occasions, a car or a two-wheeler would suddenly take an abrupt turn all of a sudden without any indicator. Or all of a sudden a person would suddenly decide to cross the road, thereby saving a couple of meager seconds which otherwise would’ve been wasted along the great journey of mankind. But then, brakes are present for such auspicious moments!

Jon Snow had been brought back to life just once. But as I reach home every day after traversing the city roads, I feel as if I am brought back to life in each of these occasions. Reincarnation is such a cool feature nowadays!

##Harry Potter and The Deathly Cats:

Sometimes I feel as if that black cat crossing the path did all the dark, magic tricks. But then I realize a white cat occasionally takes over too. No pun intended!

Happy travelling!