The 8 miseries:- Of Assam and the people

Every time I think of the cabinet ministers of the Assam Government, I am always reminded of the miseries that the people of Assam face on a daily basis. Here are 8 of them:

1.  The World-famous Floods: Every time the rain Gods decide to shower away the extreme heat which diminishes the people’s self-esteemed happiness, the flood is the answer to the people’s cheerfulness. A little shower of rain is enough to flood almost every part of Guwahati. The city transforms into the Brahmaputra. Even the highways get flooded. And if it isn’t enough to bolster people’s woes, the solution forwarded by one of the ministers was: “Even America faces the problem of floods!” And the people of the city thought only donkeys bray.

2.  The 24x7 Electricity load-shedding: And if the flood wasn’t enough to break down the sheer confidence of the people, the habitual electricity cut is another key weapon for happiness destruction. Every one of the citizens knows that the Government has enough budget allocated for 24x7 electricity but the best we get is the hour long load-shedding periodically, which petrifies each one of us, especially during the memorable summer days. Even the ‘national inverter’, Luminous inverters fail to deliver in these terrible times.

3.  The illegal public transport fares: Isn’t it mandatory for auto-rickshaws to install a meter for the sake of public welfare? Well, auto-rickshaws in the city are far from following this rule. The other day an auto-rickshaw driver charged me 200 bucks for travelling in his 5-star rickshaw from Ganeshguri area to Six Mile. And luckily as I wasn’t a heart patient, I lost only my money, not my life. Even the city buses have an unauthorized way of changing bus fares on a weekly basis. Does the transport ministry even function?

4.  The mind-boggling traffic: Every time I step out on the road, each one of the Guwahatians makes a plan to hit the road as well. Well, at least, that’s what is seen by the amount of traffic on the roads. Forget about cars; rickshaws and cycles add up to the jam-packed roads as well. I don’t know when was the last time I saw a road free of traffic jam? Either we have a surplus amount of vehicles in Guwahati or the roads are too narrow to fit in the right amount of vehicles. Either way this problem needs to be fixed. And fast.

5.  Crime Patrol: Ever seen an Assamese news channel free of crime-related news? And thanks to the uncontrolled amount of crimes in the city, these channels are filled with news on murders, rapes, thefts, burglaries, kidnappings, road accidents and so much more. Well, to be honest, this isn’t funny stuff. And I think the people of Assam need to be assured of their safety instead of assurance of watching exclusive reports and videos on these incidents by these channels. Can’t the Government give us this amount of safety?

6.  Jollywood: Ever came across this word? This is the word used for the Guwahati film Industry. Yes, very much like Bollywood and Hollywood. But what saddens me is the quantity of films that are released every year. Can’t the Government do something for the sake of Assamese films? So that we can have more of the Nipen Goswamis, Jatin Boras and Nishita Goswamis amongst us. I would love to see more Assamese films run in the movie theatres and garnish the same popularity as those of ‘2-States’ or ‘X-Men’.

7.  The one-horned rhino: The day isn’t far when the one-horned rhinoceros and the dinoceros would be on the same pages of history. Read extinct. The fact that Assam is well known for its unique one-horned rhino is being in grave danger.  The pace at which those greedy poachers are killing them for their horn, and the inability of the Forest minister to tackle this problem, it seems that we have to include the rhinoceros in the stories which we would probably tell to our grandchildren.

“Grandma’s Stories-featuring ‘the rhino’!”

8.  The man in the middle of all this: The biggest misfortune to have happened in the history of Assam would be this epic man. The man, whose irritating smile is horrendous enough to wipe out the entire rhino population, leave alone one-horned rhinos, has ruled over this state for over a decade. Claiming to have made immense developments in our state like none other leaders, the misery of Assam has only increased over a few years. The above mentioned problems are just a glimpse of the larger problems which are being faced by the people of Assam. And if this man, who shamelessly and equally proudly claims to be Lachit Borphukon’s rightful heir, continues to greedily hold on to his chair for a little longer, I am afraid of even worse things.    

Till then, pray God. Respect women. Happy reading.