The Clamors of Valentine's Day

The demons of February the 14th looms large over everybody. Hugs, kisses, cuddles and what not! And lest you forget those toxic few days which follow this day, you are a blessing in disguise.

Are you single?

Do you have a girlfriend?

How many girlfriends have you managed to date?

These above questions have a separate fan base themselves. These are just trick questions. You don't actually have to answer them. They will assume the answers based on your reactions. Slow Claps!

By default, I have been single since the day I landed on this planet. At no point in my life have I had the privilege to share the room of my heart with any girl. In simple words, I am yet to impress any girl till date. I am so single that people close to me think I am gay. How ruthless! If that wasn't enough, it was recently declared that failure to find a romantic partner is a serious concern of disability. Read here. The struggle is real but the emotion isn't. Duh!

For mental confrontation alone, you have to look no further than the person leading our government. But then, he is primarily worshiped by the non-violent Bajrang Dal themselves. And what about our Italian brand ambassador? Yes, our very own youth icon, who has done PhD on Rafale innovation and marketing! But then he at least writes his own jokes himself and yet manages to wake up every morning at night! You kind of feel pity for him but then for entertainment purposes, you don't have to look beyond our very own one time Formula 1 champion and a veteran in 50m Rifle shooting: Mr 'Being Human'. Yeah and remember he is also a virgin, which is the bonus feature. 

The fact of the matter is that there are many perks of being single. I will point out none here. So wander off with the suspense! The point is: Love is blind but only in theory. Plus, my face resembles Deepak Kalal had sex with a hoolock gibbon. Also, I am a science guy. I am not even funny. Plus, I hold a degree in Bachelor of Engineering, Mechanical. Yes, you heard it correct, mechanical! Google the sex ratio of our country. If there was a practical class to explain this fact to young students, I would be the poster boy for it. I used to laugh at people of Haryana and Rajasthan! As of now, I am the perfect living example of the consequences of that screwed up gender ratio. Karma strikes hard, and fresh! I am now old enough to have 50 Shades of Grey hair on my head. Age is no bar, they say.

Yet they are glued to Tinder, every single day!