Yes! I finally went to a Stand-Up Comedy Show
For a long time, I have been a fan of stand up comedy gigs which were available in fairly large numbers on YouTube. Most of these acts are funny enough to make you fall off the chair laughing, literally! I always had this intuition to go and watch a stand up comedy show live. After many coincidentally failed attempts, I could finally manage my time for a show hosted at a Sports Bar in our great city of Guwahati.
Though the bar was described as a 'Sports Bar' going by its name, I couldn't possibly even see anything remotely related to sports except for the fact that there was a poster of Manchester United on one of their dark walls. Sigh, being a Red Devil these days! The show was supposed to start at 7:30 pm and as punctual retards, I, accompanied by a friend of mine reached the venue half and hour before the scheduled time. We weren't asked for IDs for age verification. Nothing special but not being frisked at the gate often makes you feel like a VIP. It was literally a Saturday Night! So shame on us for estimating that the show would start so early. The entry pass had a special coupon wherein two complimentary drinks were on offer per head. For a fact, I am Virgin Mary in the alcohol department. So in the name of Jesus, I innocently assumed that the 'drinks' that they had boldly stated as complimentary were some type of mango, orange, litchi or maybe some mojito type of drinks or better Sprite or Mirinda. Thank God I kept those liquefied assumptions within my presumptive brain or I would have been roasted right from the stage. As the waiter informed me that the only drinks they were offering as laudatory were two small pegs of 'Black Dog', I felt heartbroken. I was made a unitary outcast. As the show began, the only person in the entire hall without a drink in his hands was me. Everybody had at least two glasses of drinks with them and the fact that they were so gleefully smiling with their teeth out showed that the drinks were actually 'free'! There wasn't even 'chakhnaa' available, a non-alcoholic's free pass-time munchies while accompanying his or her alcoholic friend to the bar! Such a shame. Assumptions and theories were to be limited to scientists and mathematicians, so who on earth assumed that every person attending a stand-up comedy gig has to be an alcoholic? Sigh!
The audience was almost fully filled with a population of non-Assamese speakers. I guess my 'Kharkhowa Oxomiya' brothers and sisters barely had any interest in stand-up comedy shows. For the first time I felt how native Americans feel like living in the USA. In such situations I always use my mother-tongue as an identity weapon. At one point, I was emphasizing so much on it that the waiter acted as if I was speaking Dothraki!
The stand up comic act was opened, surprisingly by an upcoming Assamese stand-up performer. He did a decent job. The main act by Papa CJ was spot on, mostly for his humorously insulting puns on Marwaris. I laughed my pants off to those one-liners. The ones on whom the jokes were based on, laughed a million times harder than me. No wonder, Agarwaal & Co. made the most of the hilarious attraction and whimsical advertisement they received that evening!
I will politely sign off with Papa CJ's patriotic line:
p.s: Bhaai fans will be offended with that line. Why? Being Virgin, remember!
Though the bar was described as a 'Sports Bar' going by its name, I couldn't possibly even see anything remotely related to sports except for the fact that there was a poster of Manchester United on one of their dark walls. Sigh, being a Red Devil these days! The show was supposed to start at 7:30 pm and as punctual retards, I, accompanied by a friend of mine reached the venue half and hour before the scheduled time. We weren't asked for IDs for age verification. Nothing special but not being frisked at the gate often makes you feel like a VIP. It was literally a Saturday Night! So shame on us for estimating that the show would start so early. The entry pass had a special coupon wherein two complimentary drinks were on offer per head. For a fact, I am Virgin Mary in the alcohol department. So in the name of Jesus, I innocently assumed that the 'drinks' that they had boldly stated as complimentary were some type of mango, orange, litchi or maybe some mojito type of drinks or better Sprite or Mirinda. Thank God I kept those liquefied assumptions within my presumptive brain or I would have been roasted right from the stage. As the waiter informed me that the only drinks they were offering as laudatory were two small pegs of 'Black Dog', I felt heartbroken. I was made a unitary outcast. As the show began, the only person in the entire hall without a drink in his hands was me. Everybody had at least two glasses of drinks with them and the fact that they were so gleefully smiling with their teeth out showed that the drinks were actually 'free'! There wasn't even 'chakhnaa' available, a non-alcoholic's free pass-time munchies while accompanying his or her alcoholic friend to the bar! Such a shame. Assumptions and theories were to be limited to scientists and mathematicians, so who on earth assumed that every person attending a stand-up comedy gig has to be an alcoholic? Sigh!
The audience was almost fully filled with a population of non-Assamese speakers. I guess my 'Kharkhowa Oxomiya' brothers and sisters barely had any interest in stand-up comedy shows. For the first time I felt how native Americans feel like living in the USA. In such situations I always use my mother-tongue as an identity weapon. At one point, I was emphasizing so much on it that the waiter acted as if I was speaking Dothraki!
The stand up comic act was opened, surprisingly by an upcoming Assamese stand-up performer. He did a decent job. The main act by Papa CJ was spot on, mostly for his humorously insulting puns on Marwaris. I laughed my pants off to those one-liners. The ones on whom the jokes were based on, laughed a million times harder than me. No wonder, Agarwaal & Co. made the most of the hilarious attraction and whimsical advertisement they received that evening!
I will politely sign off with Papa CJ's patriotic line:
"Don't mess with me! I come from the land of Kamasutra and I can fuck you in more ways than you can imagine!"
p.s: Bhaai fans will be offended with that line. Why? Being Virgin, remember!
It was a perfect place for me then, coz i love both standup comedy and off course main alchoholic hoon. I wonder when russel peters will show up in our city, dont wanna miss that.
ReplyDeleteIn the name of Jesus. HAIL Virgin Mary!!!!
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