Keventers: The Royal Milkshake?

When I was a kid, I used to hate milk. I mean, who loves milk during schooldays. Evenings turned to horror scenes during my childhood when my mom would shove a cup of milk each to me and my brother. There were countless times when we used to happily let the cupful of milk spill down the wash basin. And on occasions when mom used to catch both of us in the act, she would thrash the happiness out of us like a dhobi whipping the dirt out of clothes. Even the most violent slashing and gashing scenes from 'Game of Thrones' are comparatively less violent than those terrorizing flashbacks. In my childhood days, I simply used to hate kids who would confess about their devotion for milk in front of my mom. Such acts of benevolence would come back to haunt me every single evening. Even Hitler might have treated the Jews in a more understanding manner. Thank goodness the concept of 'Gou-mutra' wasn't trending during those days. Where was PETA when we needed them the most?

Gone are the days of the gloomy 'White Revolution'. It doesn't seem there is still a World War over the consumption of milk among moms and kids of the present generation. Millennial kids have a more loving relationship with this yuck dairy product. A few others even celebrate the occasion of drinking milk. Courtesy Keventers. This is the iPhone and Starbucks of the milk industry. High end prices but people still pay a hefty amount for it because they provide a noble and sovereign photograph for their highly valued Instagram accounts. I eagerly wanted to know what was so special about it that it is so much popular among metropolitan teens. I had to taste this platinum level milk shake so that I can present a thesis on it. And hence I reached the only Keventers outlet in Guwahati.

At first, I was intrigued by their tagline. 'Keventers: The Original Milkshake'. The mighty assurance of originality! And then the prices charmed me even more. Rs 155 for the smaller bottle of thick shakes and the price ranged to around Rs 325 for the larger bottle. There were a few other varieties too. Maybe the milk used in the shakes was milked from extremely dangerous man-eating Camels of the Saudi Sheikhs settled in a faraway galaxy. Or perhaps the technology to retrieve the milk was downloaded from the Apple iStore. Anything could have been possible. I obviously purchased the smaller bottle that cost Rs 155. After a good wait of around 10 minutes, my order finally arrived. I looked at the tiny bottle with jarring eyes. I had to ask the bloke at the counter if it was actually my order and not a case of mistaken identity. Fate never is too lenient upon me. Even a small hummingbird would seem like a giant albatross adjacent to that 155 buck worth of measly bottle. The contents got washed down my foodpipe before anybody present in the area could even blink an eyelid. It got over before I could even say cheese showing off all the 16-pairs of teeth inside my mouth. The taste was good, no doubt. For the first time in my life I wished I had a second offering of milk serving! But I couldn't click a photo with my bottle of 'liquid gold' like the kids around me. Never mind. If my mom had got any information about me spending 155 bucks for a few milliliters of milk, I would have been straightly sent to North Korea for prosecution for this serious act of treason. Till then, Highly Confidentiality is being maintained.

    Happy drinking milk.